Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A mother is a mother wherever you are!

Sunday. I woke up did my normal routine of cleaning, crunches (to ward off my Nsima belly), and got ready for church. I try each Sunday to go a church to introduce myself or at least make an appearance in my community. It may seem silly but it’s actually really important. But this time I went to a Catholic church for the first time. I must say the choir’s singing was beautiful and they started on time and ended on time (which a rarity here). I met up with my new friend who is a secondary school student in Form 2 and speaks fluent English, which is also a rarity. She is sort of like my mentee and Chichewa tutor. I also love her mother dearly. Let’s flashback to how I met her and her mother. When I first came to my site I was helping out with an ARV clinic for HIV positive patients. I saw this woman and thought how beautiful she was and knew there was something special about her. I asked her if she would be interested in learning about natural medicine to help her immune system. She said yes, which gave me further motivation to start my projects. Then a few weeks later I was chatting with my friend and saw this beautiful young girl and starting chatting with her. She had a wound on her foot so I cleaned it up and made her some tea. She then invited me to meet her mother and come for dinner. So I did and when we went to meet her mother…it was the lady from the clinic. We saw each other, smiled and embraced each other with excitement. I felt so blessed at that moment. So whenever I feel like I need a mother in my life I go to her house. She usually feeds me (like all mothers do) and we chat in my bad Chichewa.
So that is who I met at church this Sunday. I went to her house to see her mother. If I go more than a week without seeing her she gives me look like, “you don’t have time for your Amayi(mother)”.  We chatted I told her that I want her to start a garden to improve her health and help with using natural medicine. She seemed interested but first we must build a fence to keep out the goats! I then went to my house and helped a friend finish his fence, as he helped me with his. That’s the things here; people help without asking anything in return. But it is assumed in Malawian culture that if someone needs help, you help. So then we went to my garden. My friend Clement is a student at a university studying environmental design. The first class of this sort in Malawi. So it very helpful having him around to help out with my garden. He took one look at how I had arranged things and said “ time to do some work”. I was hesitant, this was something that I had worked very hard on with my blood and sweat. But more than anything I was afraid of change. It was a metaphor for life. Sometimes you have to uproot some things, move it around and restructure. But in the end it makes room for new things to grow, it opens the door for possibilities. Now my garden is expanded with carrots and a natural garden. I am very grateful for his help and brutal truth. I have a hard time having to hear that what I have done is wrong, but in the end it all works out. I have never had a garden before, or know anything about gardening in Malawi for that case. But I’m learning so much everyday and find it crucial to any well-being for Malawians and myself. My garden is more than just a garden. It’s my sanctuary. It’s where I go when I feel like I want to put my stress in something productive. It’s where I go to have my quiet time or just bask in the sun. It has become a living product of work and effort. It’s like my time here. Sometimes I will have to make some changes in my plan but it will end up producing more in the end. It has also become my constant in my life. When you go half way around the world and are thrown into a totally different element it can create challenges. But if you a few things in your day that are a constant, it creates order in your day. I know that no matter how many changes happen in the day my morning routine and garden; for the most part will stay constant. Well at least as constant as something can be a majority of the time. I have also made some good friends that are also my constant support who are incredibly patient with my Chichewa and willingness to help. So that was my Sunday, typical but not really. So blessed!
Today was a Tuesday. Today nothing got accomplished as planned but everything important got done. I met with someone in the morning to go over the new system I want to implement. My roommate who is also my co-worker was laughing at me because she wasn’t used to me in my “professional voice”. I laughed it off as usual. I was then supposed to go meet with a support group. So then we waited as you do sometimes in Malawi. But as I was waited I typed up all my potential projects, three pages later I was finished! My counterpart came over and we had a constructive talk about work and life.  I then finally made it to the support group. It was amazing 25 people, men and women. They had a medicinal garden, pigs and more farming land that they maintained. I then asked about the issues. The women stay quiet while the men ask for material things, more supplies, improvement of buildings and IGA’s (income generating activities). Afterwards I asked for the men to step out so that I could talk to the ladies. I explained to them in my best Chichewa that woman’s problems are different from men. I told them that I wanted to know how I could help them best. They explained that most of them were widowed and had issues affording nutritious food. But mostly they wanted education so that they could live healthier lives and improve their well-be thing. We then chatted and made jokes with these women. These women have nothing; they are poor and outcast of their communities. They live each day working hard and hoping that they can survive another day. Yet they are motivated and have aspirations of a better life, which keeps them going. All on faith!

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