Sunday, August 24, 2014

Final Act

Over the past two years I have had the privilege of serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Malawi for a rural hospital in the central region of Malawi. I have had many ups and downs as you always do in life. The one thing they tell you about Peace Corps service is that your highs are really high and your lows are really low. But when I look at the whole thing together, I only feel gratitude now. I want to tell a story of a girl that I talked about once before in my previous writing. But I will just tell you the whole story again from the beginning of my encounter of her. I met Sarah when she was already 18 years old. She was born with HIV during the height of the epidemic in the late 90’s. Her father died before she was born and her mother followed in 2003. This was a time in Malawi when ARVs were still something that was not consistently found in the hospitals. She was given to her mother’s sister, her aunt to be raised. She was never told that she had HIV until she was 12 years old and figured it out. She was at the borehole gathering water where she heard the women speaking about the room number where people who had HIV went to get their medicines. But that room number was the same number where her aunt took Sarah every month as well. She was in secondary school at the time and in a boarding school. She became afraid that someone would find out that she was positive. She started throwing away her medicine in fear that the boys would find out and tease her. While in Malawi the stigma has reduced among adults who are living with HIV/AIDS, while children and adolescents it’s different. They still live in fear that their peers will find out and especially if you are a girl, you fear that the boys will find out. By the time she came home for school vacation she had rashes all over her body combined with T.B. She was counseled, given medication in a different bottle (disguised as vitamins) and sent back to school. That’s when my supervisor met her and then introduced her to me. She told me her story. By the time I met Sarah, her family was unable to pay her school fees so she sat at home. She told me her dream of wanting to graduate from Secondary School and become a nurse. I knew deep down inside that it was unlikely, but I still tried to find someone to help her. Thanks to a well-wisher, she was able to go to school. She was happy most of the time. She would come home sometimes and tell me of her fears that people would find out her status, but then she would go back after counseling. She came home one time and was really emaciated. I worried, but we gave her a different diet regimen and she improved. Some months passed and then she came home sick with T.B. again. I knew this time her illness was different. But no matter how sick she was she always wanted to return to school. I knew the conditions of the boarding school were weakening her immune system; lack of diverse diet, close quarters and stress. I tried to explain to her that it may be best that she goes to a local school until she could become strong again. But she refused. She told me once that ‘I don’t want to be a house girl’. At home she felt like a house girl, but at school she was free to focus on her education only. She came home one more time very sick. We laughed together knew that this time it was different. She tried to return to school to write her final exams, but was turned away because of her illness. Her mother called me one Saturday morning and said Sarah was asking for me. I came to her room to see that she was leaving us soon. I prayed for her, told her I loved her and said goodbye.
In Malawi when someone dies there are many different cultural practices that take place. First the family members come and show their last respect at the morgue. The chiefs come and give their condolences. Then they take the body to the home village to prepare for burial the next day. People come all day and night to sing spiritual hymns and grieve. I was not able to go the funeral the next day, but was grateful I had the opportunity to say goodbye to her. A few weeks passed and I was told that I needed to go to her house to collect something from Sarah’s aunt. I arrived and awkwardly spoke with her aunt in Chichewa about basic conversation starters. The weather, farming etc. Then she looked at me and said in perfect English ‘I want to give you something from Sarah’. She thanked me for the love and help I gave to Sarah. She spoke of how happy she was whenever she spoke of me. She said in Malawi, when someone dies they wrap the body in clothe. Then they take a piece of the cloth and cut in it in remembrance. She told me that I should take this clothe and wherever I go, whatever I do, always remember Sarah. Finally she told me to never forget her and to tell her story. So this is me sharing her story.
Sarah was my friend. She liked to read the bible and talk about the stories from the New Testament. She liked cake and liked to laugh.

This is her story. 

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Are you a Hippo or a Cheetah?

It's been a while that I have written and I must admit that as time has gone on I write less and less. It doesn't mean that I have lost hope in blogging or communication with those that are interested in my experience. It just means that the more I spend my time here, it becomes less extraordinary and more ordinary. Recently there was a NPR podcast about the 'haves and have-nots' . Spending my last two years with the 'have-nots' it has given me a unique perspective of how more than half of the world lives. And how that has changed over history. The question is asked during this podcast, should we continue to send aid to developing countries? Are we really making a difference?
This question I think lingers in minds of most who serve their countries in the name of development. Some say yes and some say no. What do I think after spending more than 2 years in rural community in one of the poorest countries in Africa? It's not that simple, I say yes and no. As I have learned as volunteer over the time, it's not what I do but what I don't do that really matters. Yes I can physically start programs and help with new innovative ideas. I can help launch programs that help reach Millennium Development Goals. I can give in a way that makes me feel good. But what is it that I think at least my community needs? I think they need capacity building. Which is what I am told by people,is what I should be doing. Either way you should listen to this podcast and see what you think. Then you can see if you are a Hippo or a Cheetah?

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/?showDate=2014-05-30

Sunday, March 9, 2014

The story of "Jane"

This month marks my 30th Birthday. What a place to mark such a special occasion. I was grateful that on my 30th birthday I was able to celebrate with the great friends that I also came to Malawi with exactly 2 years ago. I can still remember my feelings at that time as though it was yesterday. I remember the anticipation mixed with sheer terror. I remember having no idea of what to even expect. I feel now that life can never really give you more than you can handle. Looking back now, I know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be. For that reason I have extended my contract for an additional 6 months to finish "unfinished business". Though I struggled with this decision for a long time, I eventually came to this conclusion with a lot of faith as well. I am grateful that 2 years later I still find things that are unfamiliar, exciting and at times uncomfortable. It is that uncomfortableness that allows for a person to grow. To be pushed beyond normal limits. To become that person that we all hope to be. But most of all I'm grateful for my community who continues to be a great support system for me. Now I would like to tell you a story of a girl in my village that has given me passion for my work, in hopes that one day I can help combat and fight for people like this.
The Story of "Jane"
Jane is a 18 year old girl in my village. Both of her parents died when she was a child in the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. She was born with the disease without a choice. She started taking the ARVs when she was a young child, not even knowing what the medication was for. It wasn't until she was in the 7th grade that she heard women gossiping at the borehole that people who have HIV take their medicine in room 5 at the hospital. Terrified that anyone would find out that she is positive she became nervous. When she went away for secondary school, her aunt who raised her arranged with the headmaster that she could take the medicine from him everyday. Afraid that people would find out she stopped taking her ARVs. By the time she came back to the hospital she had a terrible rash and TB as a result of a lowered immune system. Since then we have been able to send her back to school with the help of well-wishers. In Malawian culture because the girl is a niece to the aunt, her uncle stopped supporting her financially including paying her school fees. As a result she sat at home waiting for nothing. Until a well-wisher was able to sponsor her at school. She was afraid to go to school locally as the schools in my catchment area aren't of the best quality.  ( If one wants to be a nurse in Malawi you must have good grades, and as this is her dream she knew it wasn't possible with a mediocre school )She also had fears of the gossiping women that might gossip about her HIV status and boys would tease her in school. She then found a school about 40 minutes away that allowed her admittance. She has had a second chance with this school. She has found other girls that are positive and they can support each other. She has good teachers and a good support system there as well. The only problem is boarding in secondary schools, gives little options for diet. The food is so poor that she is unable to go a month without some type of illness as her immune system is again weakened by the poor diet. We have tried to talk her into going to a local school so that she can have a better diet at home, but she refuses. She know that if she goes to school locally she has little to no chance of advancing professionally. Therefore, she risk her life, literally to go to school. Each time coming back from school holidays, more ill and thinner.
But it is my hope that with better policies to support "Jane" and better systems in place future Jane's can live better lives. It is my hope to work to help the next generation face less stigma and less struggles just to get an education...

Saturday, February 1, 2014

What Malawi Has Taught Me

The rainy season is in full force with rains here almost everyday. The rainy season marks the time of year when it is busiest. Every morning people go to their farms and try their best to make their one shot in the year to provide food for their families for the year and if they are lucky to make a little profit. It also brings for me time to reflect. I have been thinking of all the wonderful things Malawi has taught me.
  1.  How to start a fire with a plastic bag.
  2. How to carry a variety of things on my head.
  3. How to kill a chicken.
  4. How to speak another language.
  5. How to pretend like I understand another language, even if I really don't understand :)
  6. Compassion
  7. Patience-what African time really means.
  8. How to clean myself without a shower ( very effectively I must say ).
  9. How to garden.
  10. How to relate to someone with a completely different culture.
  11. How to make something out of nothing.
  12. How someone can be so proud when it seems as though they have nothing.
  13. How strong a woman can really be as she carries 50 kgs on her head while breastfeeding a child and then come home to cook dinner.
  14. How to laugh at myself.
  15. How human beings can survive in any conditions.
  16. How most of the world lives.
  17. How let everything go at the end of the day.
  18. How to love nature.
  19. How to give respect to the elderly ( because if you live in a place with a low life expectancy, it is truly an honor to grow old.
  20. And most of all....I've learned about myself, my strengths, my weaknesses and how to be humble.
It is often said that when you come to call a place your home and really live with the people you are forever changed. As I always say, Malawi has given me more than I can ever give back. And for that I'm grateful.