Home sweet Home

It’s funny how quickly you can call a place a home. I have been in Malawi now for 9 months but I consider Malawi my home. I am now returning from my trip from the Republic of South Africa (RSA) feeling well rested and motivated. Not to mention this was the first time I have seen my husband in 9 months J the last few months have been full of many triumphs and challenges as to be expected in Malawi. Highlights include: the opening of 2 under 5 clinics in two villages that I helped supervise and organize the community. I don’t feel as though this is an accomplishment of my own but one of the community. I just stood by, motivated, gave instructions, organized the community with the help of my colleagues and brought supplies. My other accomplishment was the of motivating the communities to start medicinal gardens in their gardens. I hope in the future I can use these as I have successfully motivated others in the communities to start in hopes that they will motivate other individuals in their villages. I have cooked Nsima (the staple food of Malawi) by myself, not to mention many of the times where I missed one step turning my Nsima to mush. Or not to mention when it wasn’t quite right and tried to serve it to my fellow Malawians, they politely made rice J but finally with the supervision of my Amayi (my village mother) I succeeded!  I also successfully killed my first chicken: / I felt as if I at chicken I should at least be able to kill it. My friend came to my house one day and said hey I brought you something it’s behind the seat. I went to go look and to my surprise and slight yelp, it was a chicken. Beautiful matured female chicken. I asked what should I do with it? He replied “eat it!” I knew at that moment what the fate of this young chicken. I like to name my chickens so I feel that I can have a humane dialogue with it before I decide its fate. As we have seen from the past I don’t always have the best luck with chickens….Amayi Mazira (mother of eggs who was stolen in the night…etc.) But I decided that I just had to get it over with. I put on my rain boots, chitenje (fabric worn around a woman’s waist) and grabbed the sharpest knife I could find. I explained to her that I’m sure she was a nice bird but, I was hungry and so were my friends. I gathered my friends to coach and assist me to make it as quick as possible. Not to be too graphic but it was quick and nice (if that is possible). That was the easiest part I soon discovered. You must de-feather it and then butcher it. I tried my best to assist my friend but was not of much help. We cooked it and when dinner was ready. I just sort of starred at it and unsatisfying ate my meal. Two weeks later a nice man from the village gave me another chicken. I gave this one as a gift to my friends. And when they asked what part I wanted I declared that I was working on being a vegetarian again. I must back up and explain how I got the chicken. There is an NGO called Heifer International which gives milking cows to HIV families to help supplement their incomes. Because HIV/AIDS is a debilitating disease, despite ARVs (which sometimes cause the worst side-effects) there are many IGA (income generating activities) to help these families. If you are too sick to farm, then you don’t eat in Malawi pretty much. So I went around with the NGO to look at their progress and see the cows. I came across this young milking cow. These cows were like the cows of India. They were not just livestock they were prized possessions that were the very livelihood of these families. This cow looked into my eyes, licked my hand and like my family dog asked with the nod of its head for affection. This too has also influenced my 2^nd thought to become a vegetarian… I hope to also work with this organization as much as possible in the future. My challenges aren’t important because my successes outweigh to the point where they become insignificant.

But I do feel like Malawi is my home, and my village as my hometown. I missed little things while I was having an incredible time with my husband. Listening to Chichewa, woman selling mangos on every corner, the lack of structure (I know it sounds crazy). I didn’t realize how much of a Malawian I was until I was late to the bus going back to Malawian when this South African woman was so upset because I arrived 2 minutes to departure. In Malawi 1) I would have been early 2)instantly met with a smile 3) instantly forgiven .There are down sides to these cultural norms, but I know at least now I have assimilated. With the rains the landscape has changed to a beautiful green as everything comes to life! The corn is growing, mangoes falling from the trees and everyone hard at work to make a good harvest. This is a vast change to my morning routine during the dry season as they days were also shorter.  In the village I awake to the rooster crow, do my daily chores and water my garden looking up at my papaya tree to see the moon and stars at 5am. Now I can be a little bit lazier. I don’t need to heat my bathing water ( it’s too hot), I don’t have to water my garden  ( the rains do it for me), this gives me an extra 1hr to sleep inJ so now I wake up at 430 or 5 instead of 330 or 4.

RSA was beautiful. It was like being in America, Europe and a little bit of Africa smashed into one. I didn’t want to do much. Just eat good food, go for nice hiking (table Top Mountain, which is 6 times older than the Himalaya’s) and catch up on movies missed in an actual movie theatre. I missed the sound of the rooster in the morning, the rooster crowing, the smell of the landscape after it rains, the Malawian music (that they play over and over again on the mini buses), greetings of everyone wherever I go, the smiles of the people and the happiness of the children (even though they have nothing, maybe didn’t eat much that day and are playing with plastic bags as a toys). Those are the unexpected things that are etched into your heart that become part of you. I look in the mirror and see my history and am very proud of my heritage. I see my mother’s family who came to a land from Germany to escape religious persecution or maybe to seek a better life. I see the picture of their lives that they made in the Midwest as farmers. The land the sweated and tilled so their children could have a better life. Or my father’s family who struggled to make a best life on the West coast of Africa in Ghana. Did my ancestors know that they would have a distant relative who would travel to Africa and live again? Did my blonde hair blue eyed ancestors know that they would have a brown skinned, curly hair relative. The interesting thing about RSA is there are people that are of every color and nationality. But because their families have been there for so many generations and they are mixed with so many ethnicities it’s hard to tell they ethnicities. During the apartheid there were many different classifications for race and ethnicity, which I understand now. But after almost 20 years of the end to the apartheid you see the need for importance slowly fading away. If you ask a South African what is your race, the smile (because they know this kind of still matters in America) and say “I’m South African”. Enough said. In America as a bi-racial child dealing with so many identify issues growing up; coming here has given me peace to this issue. I’m not a black American or a half-cast as they call me sometimes in Malawi (out of ignorance). I am an American.

I have a really good fellow Peace Corps volunteer named Charlie. He is in his 60’s and is one of the most interesting people I have ever met. He is among the population PCVs who decided that after a life of working and public service that he should again contribute to public service in the developing world. Every now in then we send each other deep text about our experiences and he always gives me good advice just like a good father would. He always seems to know what I’m thinking just my real father would and gives me the best encouragement. So the other day he sent me an email about comfort zones. I know I have talked about how it’s important to be ‘comfortable being uncomfortable’. Now as a PCV I have it pretty easy compared to my peers. I have electricity most of time, running water and a great supervisor who is motivated and keeps me busy. But now and again I have these ‘hiccups’ as she calls them where things become uncomfortable. The other day I had a issue with my housing of what I won’t go into detail. But let’s just say I’m safe but was made to feel uncomfortable. And at that time I received Charlie’s email. He was talking about how as it seems as soon as he became comfortable, it was time for something new. Which is true. But as I began to feel sorry for myself I received an inspirational talk from my supervisor which was much needed. My supervisor is one of the coolest people ever by the way. She is a sister and a doctor, I know right?! But she is highly motivated and helps so many people. Whenever I feel as though I need inspiration I go and work with her for a day and know what it really means to serve your community and people. To live a life of service. I read a good quote one time that stated, 'a good teacher doesn’t just tell how, she lets you stand beside her to see the way’. I really feel that way with her. I feel like I have learned so much since being here, more than I can ever give back. I wake up everyday knowing that there may be challenges, but knowing that I’m serving my life’s purpose. And for that I’m grateful. So I’m gearing up for my project, so I’ll ask for your prayers. Its research in anemia in under 5 children. During the rainy season there are 2 factors that contribute to anemia. The rainy season is called the hunger season and malaria season. It is before corn can be harvested to make Nsima (the staple food) so they run out of food before harvest. Also with rain, comes mosquitoes, which in turn brings malaria which also  causes anemia. With these two factors children can come in to the hospital almost dead or sometimes they do die because of severe anemia. We hope to go into some of the communities this year to introduce plants that are found here than help with anemia. Some call it natural medicine, supplement or locally available plants. Either way we hope to help make a small impact so these children can have healthy lives, have good cognitive development, and healthy immune systems.

So funny story time as there is a new American here volunteering and apparently my other Malawian roommate is afraid I have become the scorpion killer and/or other pest. The other day I heard the American screaming, Aisha please come in here and get rid of this thing. I guess this time of you is when the lizards come out and I think they are cute. I remember during training when I lived in the village there was a frog always in my room. So here’s how it works if you think about it all the time they can sense it and follow you everwhere..hahaha. So every morning I would sweep out the frog but at night I would look over with my lamp and be looking deeply into the eyes of my friend who I named KermitJ So finally I gave up on kicking him out and told him one night, I won’t bother you and you eat all the bugs in my room. And that was it. So I tried to explain this to the American with not much success. So we just chased him out. But he always seems to find her no matter what. Then there are the big scorpions, which are kind of scary. So when one appears, I’m usually the one designated to kill it which I feel bad, because I think it’s bad karma. But the worse part is the horrible noise and mess it makes when I squash such a big bug. So I am a PCV/herbalist /pest controller. Also there other I spent about 10 minutes chasing a chicken out my house as it came into my roomJ Maybe it came for the scorpions. Nevertheless I’m just glad it didn’t poop in my house. Ah another day in Malawi…Love it!

"American"

I remember growing up and not sure what it really felt like to be an American. Not really feeling as though I was the typical American. I grew up in with many different cultures and felt as though to have this experience made me different. It wasn't until I started traveling that I realized the true 'American' culture. Furthermore it wasn't until I had a new American volunteer placed at my site that I realized how American I was. I know that I have talked about the guilt that I felt of all the advantages I have as an American but I also must add something else. I am truly proud to be American. Though I am sometimes frustrated with all the injustices that I see in America, overall I am grateful for the progress with we have made over the last 200 something years. We have our problems but in general things run a little bit smoother than in developing countries. We are individualist, we speak out if we don't agree, and for the most part we aren't afraid of change. It is these qualities I believe that have allowed us to be where we are today. I must say I am not the most patriotic person and at times I was almost embarrassed to say I was American. But now I see that we may do some things I don't agree with I am very blessed to raised in America. I don't have to worry about my parents marrying me off at the age of 14. In America for the most part: I don't have to worry about if I have safe drinking water. I don't have to worry about speaking out against the government. There are so many things that I am grateful for in America. But most of all I'm proud of what my ancestors endured in both continents of Africa and Europe to come to America for a better life. The other day I had to explain the political and historical context that has lead Malawi to be the way it is. In general it has to do with the political history that has lead to slow development. That is not to say that I am not happy to be here. I love Malawi for so many reasons and love my work. I just ask that in the future we can help developing countries with development and not aid. I always say to myself baby steps or ' you may plants seeds and not see the harvest, but that doesn't mean it's not growing'. And then my favorite, my sort of mantra that I think of everyday for myself and others, “Be prepared at any moment to change who you are, to become the person you will be".

When we first arrived in Malawi we were taken to a place called Dedza. Dedza is not like most of Malawi. It is mountainous and very very cold (considering misconceptions of what African weather should be like). But nevertheless, we stayed here during our first 2 months here in Malawi. We lived with a host family in the village for a month and in between that time stayed at a Forestry College. Then after swearing in, we all left for our site finishing what is called PST ( Pre-service Training). Now 6 months later in country ( wow can’t believe it’s been 6 months, time flies here) we are back at college for our IST ( Introduction Service Training) we love our acronyms! On one of the first mornings we all climbed to the top of a small mountain to watch the sun rise. Around here there are wild dogs that live mostly off our leftover food. There is one who is the leader of the pack called ‘snail butt’ there are two reason for this: one his tail curls like a snail and two yes your right he has a parasite. But regardless he is healthy and a good dog. Every time we go up the mountain he accompanies us to the top. He doesn’t really know us that much but knows that we are different from the others. Most Malawians are not always nice to dogs ( this is not to say that some Malawians have dogs as pets and treat them very nicely) but there is a reason for this. Sometimes they become rabid and attack people so I get why there is a slight fear of animals. But anyways, we get to the top of this mountain and watch the sun rise over the mountainous, tree rich, cool area of Malawi. I remember thinking for the first time that pine trees was not what I envisioned in Africa. When the British came to Malawi they wanted trees for building houses and the like that were straight. Because Dedza has a cool climate pine trees grew here successfully and are now very common. But regardless it is beautiful here and partly because it was our first home here. I went back to see my host family and they were excited. My little sister just started Secondary School which is like high school in America. This is a big deal for girls as a lot of times get married young and don’t finish school. As incentive I decided to pay half of her school fees to encourage her to take school seriously. My little brother had Malaria some time back and lost a lot of weight. I here these stories everyday of someone getting Malaria, getting married young, parents dying leaving orphans and other common diseases here. They seem real to you until someone you know is effected and then you feel a slight feeling of guilt. I know that I didn’t come here to save all of Malawi or the world for that case. But it’s not to say that I don’t take this job very seriously to not end all morbidity or moralities, but to maybe, hopefully lessen the suffering of the average Malawian especially the children. I had a dream last night that I was back in America in my mom’s home. I had all the modern conveniences that I was used to back in the states. It was funny because the whole time I felt uncomfortable. It was always interesting to me once I realized how the majority of the world was living as a child that I felt this feeling of guilt. Like why did God choose me to be the lucky one who would get to live in a developing country with less suffering ( I’m talking health, infrastructure and human rights). But I also didn’t take it lightly. Time to do some work!

Sometimes...

It's funny to look at my pictures from just a few months ago and see how much I have changed. Or to look back at pictures from 1 year ago and think of how my perspective has totally changed. My friend always has a good motto "Always forward never backwards, even if you feel like you need to regain your strength". In every new beginning of any new chapter of my life I try to think of a motto to keep me on the right track. So for my Peace Corps service I have decided on one for now " Be prepared at any moment to sacrifice who you are now, for the person the person that you will become". I feel myself changing internally for the best I think. But sometimes when you are surrounded by suffering you just become used to seeing it and that also changes you as well. It's a reminder of no matter how sometimes things may be frustrating that there is a greater purpose to my presence here. That all petty worries need to be set aside because I have work to do. I not writing this in frustration to any particular issue, but as a reminder to myself and others. That though we can get caught in small things on the surface of our everyday activities. If you stop and dig deep there is a a lesson to each moment of your life. Because....everyone and every situation is an opportunity to be a teacher for life learning. OK not trying to get super deep but thought I would share if anyone else was needing a reminder like I need everyday:)

Stay blessed!

It’s been a long long time since I have written. There are many reasons for my absenceJ But in short I have been super busy! Which is great right?! Some volunteers have had experiences of being bored, but because I have been blessed with a great site, a great supervisor, great counterparts and a great community; my experience is very different. I am the first health PCV placed in Kapiri ever! And though the hospital that I work with has had many volunteers that are Azungus (a foreign person), I am the first that will stay for 2 years. Therefore my supervisor is utilizing my time here as much as possible. There is a stereotype that Malawians are lazy, easy going, nonconfrontational, and always waiting for a handout. My supervisor Dr. Sister Eva does not fit into this category. She works had and expects everyone else to do the same. As most people know that I can be somewhat of a workaholic this is a good match for me! Every morning I wake up at 4 am and think of all the things I want to accomplish in my day. I begin my morning routine which I has become my constant. Though there are challenges I feel myself changing more and more everyday for the better. I feel as though I am becoming more assertive not because I feel as though people are taking advantage of me all the time. But because I feel as though my work is so needed and important that being passive would be a disservice to my community. Projects I am currently working on:

Setting up a research to do a comparison study of natural medicine vs. conventional medicine for under 5 children with anemia due to malnutrition.

Helping supervise the building of 2 under 5 clinics is under served villages.

Implementing a data system in the hospital to have better access to bio statistics.

Most of my projects centers around natural medicine. Because this is a developing country with limited access to conventional medicine this is a method of providing a sustainable approach to helping treat minor to moderate health ailments, preventative medicine and supplementing poor diets. Everyday no matter the challenges I face I know that this is exactly where I am suppose to be and doing exactly what I always wanted to do. But enough inspirational talk! Funny stories…..

So the children of course when they see me with my leggings, riding my bicycle wearing sunglasses; no matter how dark I have gotten know that I am an Azungu! So they chant ‘Azungu, Azungu!’ So I have started stopping my bike coming back to them and saying in Chichewa “My name is Aisha, and not Azungu, you hear? You understand” they say ‘Eya (yes)’ “My name?” “Aisha” “And not” “Azungu”. Then as I ride away they usually laugh and sometimes cheer! The great thing about Malawian sounds is the way you speak Chichewa is almost like singing. I can’t even begin to describe it by typing. But instead of say Ok you would say “OOOHHHOOHH” in a singing manner. If women or children are laughing it’s like simultaneously they make a sound perfectly synchronized like a high pitch “OOOOHHHH” and then a low pitch “EEEEEEE”. It’s awesome. So from my village all the way to the farthest village in my catchment area which is 22K most of the children know my name now!  Also this is the end of the cold season and the end of the harvest. Soooo it is of course mice season. It isn’t as bad as it seems. What they do is light the fields on fire and wait for the field mice to run and then catch them. I think I will try to sample some this week. I know it sounds unappetizing but people swear by it…so when in Rome…I mean Malawi. I have also become a pretty good wine maker. Best wine yet is pineapple, papaya and ginger wine. Finally the progress of my garden; this month I have begun making my first harvest from my garden. Did you know you can eat the leaves of cauliflower and broccoli? Quite tasty it is.

My weeks are full of visiting villages, meeting with chiefs, meeting with chronically ill patients to give them natural and conventional medicine and designing and discussing my projects. On the weekends I usually attend some cultural event such as a wedding this weekend. Which I must say was great. The way it works here is you show up, invited or not. Sit down and they keep bringing you food until you say enough! Then you make a donation which you feel is fair. Then the women and men do traditional dances for a ridiculous amount of time. It’s not that it’s boring, but I don’t understand how a 78 year grandmother can dance in a provocative way for more than an hour. But I must say grandma can’t get down! This is also the season for the Nao, which is part of the Chiwea culture. Every harvest there are men who dress up in scary costumes and dance around. They also appear if the children aren’t going to school to make them go to school…which works. Then they go to the chief’s house and demand money. If they chiefs don’t pay up, then they take a chicken; which seems fair.

But for now all is well! I will try my best to keep my blog updated as much as possible. But it may just be in Malawian time! By the way this may not be grammatically correct because my Chichewa is getting better as my English is getting bade LOL!

Quick funny story. I was trying to bake a cake at my site mate's house who lives about 10K away in his brick wood oven. So this is a tedious process of heating the brick stove with firewood, waiting for it to become hot and then placing the cake in afterwards. So after doing all of this I realized that I forgot to bring baking soda. So he went to ask his neighbor if she had some. She said no, but then arrived later with something that we thought was baking powder. After further investigation we realized that it was actually baby powder. Oh language barriers:) Needless to say it was a flat cake:)

A mother is a mother wherever you are!

Sunday. I woke up did my normal routine of cleaning, crunches (to ward off my Nsima belly), and got ready for church. I try each Sunday to go a church to introduce myself or at least make an appearance in my community. It may seem silly but it’s actually really important. But this time I went to a Catholic church for the first time. I must say the choir’s singing was beautiful and they started on time and ended on time (which a rarity here). I met up with my new friend who is a secondary school student in Form 2 and speaks fluent English, which is also a rarity. She is sort of like my mentee and Chichewa tutor. I also love her mother dearly. Let’s flashback to how I met her and her mother. When I first came to my site I was helping out with an ARV clinic for HIV positive patients. I saw this woman and thought how beautiful she was and knew there was something special about her. I asked her if she would be interested in learning about natural medicine to help her immune system. She said yes, which gave me further motivation to start my projects. Then a few weeks later I was chatting with my friend and saw this beautiful young girl and starting chatting with her. She had a wound on her foot so I cleaned it up and made her some tea. She then invited me to meet her mother and come for dinner. So I did and when we went to meet her mother…it was the lady from the clinic. We saw each other, smiled and embraced each other with excitement. I felt so blessed at that moment. So whenever I feel like I need a mother in my life I go to her house. She usually feeds me (like all mothers do) and we chat in my bad Chichewa.

So that is who I met at church this Sunday. I went to her house to see her mother. If I go more than a week without seeing her she gives me look like, “you don’t have time for your Amayi(mother)”.  We chatted I told her that I want her to start a garden to improve her health and help with using natural medicine. She seemed interested but first we must build a fence to keep out the goats! I then went to my house and helped a friend finish his fence, as he helped me with his. That’s the things here; people help without asking anything in return. But it is assumed in Malawian culture that if someone needs help, you help. So then we went to my garden. My friend Clement is a student at a university studying environmental design. The first class of this sort in Malawi. So it very helpful having him around to help out with my garden. He took one look at how I had arranged things and said “ time to do some work”. I was hesitant, this was something that I had worked very hard on with my blood and sweat. But more than anything I was afraid of change. It was a metaphor for life. Sometimes you have to uproot some things, move it around and restructure. But in the end it makes room for new things to grow, it opens the door for possibilities. Now my garden is expanded with carrots and a natural garden. I am very grateful for his help and brutal truth. I have a hard time having to hear that what I have done is wrong, but in the end it all works out. I have never had a garden before, or know anything about gardening in Malawi for that case. But I’m learning so much everyday and find it crucial to any well-being for Malawians and myself. My garden is more than just a garden. It’s my sanctuary. It’s where I go when I feel like I want to put my stress in something productive. It’s where I go to have my quiet time or just bask in the sun. It has become a living product of work and effort. It’s like my time here. Sometimes I will have to make some changes in my plan but it will end up producing more in the end. It has also become my constant in my life. When you go half way around the world and are thrown into a totally different element it can create challenges. But if you a few things in your day that are a constant, it creates order in your day. I know that no matter how many changes happen in the day my morning routine and garden; for the most part will stay constant. Well at least as constant as something can be a majority of the time. I have also made some good friends that are also my constant support who are incredibly patient with my Chichewa and willingness to help. So that was my Sunday, typical but not really. So blessed!

Today was a Tuesday. Today nothing got accomplished as planned but everything important got done. I met with someone in the morning to go over the new system I want to implement. My roommate who is also my co-worker was laughing at me because she wasn’t used to me in my “professional voice”. I laughed it off as usual. I was then supposed to go meet with a support group. So then we waited as you do sometimes in Malawi. But as I was waited I typed up all my potential projects, three pages later I was finished! My counterpart came over and we had a constructive talk about work and life.  I then finally made it to the support group. It was amazing 25 people, men and women. They had a medicinal garden, pigs and more farming land that they maintained. I then asked about the issues. The women stay quiet while the men ask for material things, more supplies, improvement of buildings and IGA’s (income generating activities). Afterwards I asked for the men to step out so that I could talk to the ladies. I explained to them in my best Chichewa that woman’s problems are different from men. I told them that I wanted to know how I could help them best. They explained that most of them were widowed and had issues affording nutritious food. But mostly they wanted education so that they could live healthier lives and improve their well-be thing. We then chatted and made jokes with these women. These women have nothing; they are poor and outcast of their communities. They live each day working hard and hoping that they can survive another day. Yet they are motivated and have aspirations of a better life, which keeps them going. All on faith!